Posted: November 24, 2011 in Poet; Writer; Author
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She died with angelic dignity

but with a loss I could never dismiss

miles of sweeping trails before us

shall forever reap their dust, untouched

Me and My Horse, Vanilla

acres of sky open to unseen emptiness

filtered frames of splintered moonlight

live to perhaps forgive another austere day

alone in melting shadows of tall weeping grass

no one hears the ruptured tears

they wouldn’t care anyway

sentiment was never a fashionable thing

so I walk the runways with benign, hidden sorrow

wearing it like silk from a third-world country

cherishing it as others would their homeless rags

that wore our bond like riches of ancient gold

never to agonize who blamed my wardrobe of gossamer despair

which I adorned quite well with diva model-ease

I was never born to caress nor intrinsically please

merely wanted the remains of a solitude day

to soften the blunt of my many tortured nights

where sleep begged for intimate foreplay

in fear of dreams that never fondled mortal empathy

always the opposite fever to my booming health

one moment in the outpost of serpentine pleasure

still never enough to call my own

only borrowed for a time from the Heavens

but given Vanilla

the horse of my dreams

for twelve blessed years

where did they go

but to a paradise

whose door I cannot knock

when God takes back a horse

regret is nothing less than divine sacrifice

and still I hear her hooves in thunder’s reckoning

distances I’ve learned to mirror as my reflective own

a silence rumbling far too long

allow the melody to die

so all will know

the singer once lived

inside my Soul

where the song never fades.




Author’s Note:


I lost my Soul-Mate Horse,

Vanilla, to Cancer,

April 10, 2010.


Goodbye Vanilla.  You

carried me across the

Earth and back home, always,

in safety.


I hope the Angels carried

you to Heaven just as well.



© Susan Joyner-Stumpf

  1. drtruthman says:

    A very precious and sensitive poem. Such meaning and emotion. I really felt the bond you two shared in every descriptive word. You experienced a unique relationship which few have ever enjoyed. Thank you for sharing your wonderful relationship with Vanilla. A very good job though difficult I am sure.

  2. Gina says:

    This is a very sweet poem Susan. I am sorry for your loss but glad you got to have Vanilla in your life as long as you did. I know she must’ve been very sweet.

  3. Thank you Lee and Gina. Yes, Vanilla was very special and I will never forget her. It was very hard to write this Poem, but I wanted a Tribute to her. As painful as it was to lose her, I must be greatful for the years we had. She died at 19, which is good for a horse, though I have known some to live past their 30’s. She was an Angel and I guess God needed her UP THERE. I will see her again. There are many rides left that we never journeyed together.

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