Autobiography

Graphic Art by Susan Joyner-Stumpf

(aka sonnetwolf designz)

 

Autobiography

Born at the time

Of moon when all is yearning:

At the moment of equinox,

A primeval tap into deep deprival

Of stillborn longing.

Love and grief:  i ache the same.

A torture ignited

By the celestial sigh

Of tearful smile

And laughter unwept.

I am the mistress of sorrow:

Flesh to flesh, i don’t bond so easily.

Intimacy paves the path towards

Infinite loss.

I am approachable in dreams

Wavering between the thrust

Of dawn with twilight ~

(when most loneliness happens),

Where the fire of passion is sinister

Because it’s the spirit that reeks surrender

And ultimate seduction.

Born at the time

Of moon when all is yearning:

I was that shooting star you held in

Your stain-glassed eyes ~

yet you blinked,

never to see me fall.

*•.¸♥♥¸.•*

© Susan Joyner-Stumpf

Halted by the complexity of time

Halted by the complexity of time
to wonder now where this moment
came from and why; and how long it

What matters is how you conquer Eternity

will last before the next.

Concepts seem to eternal their way
through the mind, a continuous flow
of meandering confusion.

Fears
fluid uneasiness, warm
frightened blood
passing vein to vein.

Where there can’t be time
there is no question
but life and even death
evolve that cycle

of numbed units….

that you eventually Die on a
Wednesday at noon makes no
difference.

From then on what matters is
how you conquer Eternity.

~ *•.¸♥♥¸.•*
© Susan Joyner-Stumpf

(One of my earliest poems, written at age 9. With this Poem, I won my first Writing Contest. The rest is history. I think even the Teachers were shocked.)

542

Thirst that could not be given any other name

A surprise even for saturated lichen

To make its move on wounded alders

That spoke less of fortitude

More of purity from casualty

Shedding leaves like bad habits

Only the possum knows its limits

How far hatred could slime it

A blot on the mind warp

Crimson tremors left shackled

Until even oil resurfaces

Like dreams yet to be forgiven

There is madness in the overtouch

A right saved only for virgin fuselage

Nearing the end of Nirvana

Do we seek shelter from sheer likeness

Of what golden stillness we used to be

Before inertia got bored of us

And left with our soulboots still singing

Oh ~ ~  the sweet sound of abused nectar

And yet we continue making love

To shadows who only whisper

Our ancient, forgotten demise

*•.¸♥♥¸.•*

© Susan Joyner-Stumpf

Fatal Oblivion

Fatal Oblivion

 

A morning

remembered only

for its damask entry

a velvet touch

along hemlined

quasi-dream.

 

This leisure waking state

nebulous of prism-light

golden-stillness enfolding

a noncommittal fog

of half-twilight, sinking.

 

Shadows flit then tease

broken, seeking form

from invisible placenta-thought

retinas thrust inside blindness

external visions impaired,

neatly aborted ~

fatal oblivion.

 

Memory, snow blanketed

with intermittent waves

of fire and cold

tug from quiescent core

weeping through

fabrics of mortal reluctance.

 

It’s at this moment

we are most vulnerable

abandoned even in love.

Your arms wrapped snugly

around me feel a distant

world away.

 

As you kiss the air between us,

all realism asunder,

bent in the coil of an

arctic caress,

my lips acknowledge

a measure of unspeakable hunger,

the first light rays

of unintended emptiness.

 

*•.¸♥♥¸.•*

© Susan Joyner-Stumpf

No Compromise

There you would have me

Bone silent

Seed of your love

A heart tapered

For fitting

Its delicacy wrapped

Between ivory incisors

Can we compromise

Or I am to be hushed

Like one of your slaves

Your eyes devouring

My many gowns

You have dreams of dismembering

Them layer by layer

As you hold gemstones and

Persian silk above my

Idle perusal

Thinking that’s sure to

Persuade me to feel

Something that was

Never there nor ever

Will be.

 

You think that

Would make the difference?

Like shown a landmark onColumbus’

Map, this is the spot to die for

But I look forlornly away

Outside that window ledge

Where you left your rival

(The real man I loved)

Dead and still hung in the courtyard

While I still smell his lingering blood

Stowed in this prisoned room

You’ve stolen everything

But it’s you left with

All you cannot have nor

Ever will; everything and everyone

That never wanted you.

 

You haul me away to

Meet other fates that

Even Darkness will

Live long enough to fear;

I pass by your white stallion, Apollo ~ ~

The wild of his eyes catch mine

Something for us both is tamed there,

Because it too, was forced to

Choose, and it wasn’t you it

Chose.

 

So we both ride into a vicious storm

We’ll never regret.

 

*•.¸♥♥¸.•*

© Susan Joyner-Stumpf

NO CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE

NO CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE

Nothing will ever compare

To that tremor,

That fragile, dripping quiver

Reluctantly from

Your shadowy lip,

Burning, for now,

Our goodbyes

Oh Darling!

The fragments of my weeping

Soul as I stood there,

Numb as sunlight

Caught trapped in the pulled

Shades, struggling despite

Incredible odds

To remain strong, steadfast,

And bright.

So I fall into you limp, a

Ragdoll, pleading,

Begging you,

Please don’t

Go.

“It’s only for a few days…”

The sweet breath

Of your whisper speaks

Into disheveled strands

Of my blonde hair.

The door~

That cursed door

Between us now,

Your suitcase and attaché

In either hand.

I hear the engine

Roar.  That last roar…

Tulips in snow have

Nothing on me.

Their wintry surprise at

Least will thaw.

I stand here frozen now,

A mummy, no

Place to

Go.

Oh Darling!

And then that fatal call,

Telling me you’ll never come home….

The

Horrible accident.

Oh Darling!

 

I still hear your

Words now,

“It’s only for a few days…”

…….And then days turn into a lifetime.

No one ever told me

Waiting for Eternity would

Be so slow…

*•.¸♥♥¸.•*

© Susan Joyner-Stumpf

LOVE IN TWISTED MARROW

LOVE IN TWISTED MARROW

 

Two years it took in the making to down grade

Where else that soup of metaphor

And caustic pride

Over worn in the stark beak of night

Its bite cold and without regret

I could get by on iron alone

But vintage lace calls me

To a more sophisticated time

So I’m lost between eras

Invisible to stars

As I stumble to reach the mainland

Like a Dolphin I leap high

As though to escape extinction

Aren’t I worth saving, saving

The voice of the Sparrow told me so

And I love you so much it hurts

Antarcticaclimbing my backbone

I’m all about forgiveness

As long as its more genuine in miles

Than shorter on deceitful inches

What makes your face so sad

The smile I could make love to

If you weren’t always so far away

I forget about mirrors

I want the life inside of there

More than I do out here

As I waste away to a sun flare

That regards me as a Dinosaur

In the evolution of intangible things

Hungry for their own off spring

 

 

Can dreams be so cruel as to

Lead us to drought instead of

The flood of all for which we strive

At the cost of wounded ambition

Crippled in the war to fight there ~

For everything ~

 

So as not to be nothing, nothing

When time ends and we are the golden ticket

That failed to touch the talisman of victory

That hung by a thread and out of reach

Until we waved like flags, burning, turning,

Its own stigmata across our Souls

Do we answer as far-seeking each question,

Tumbling, tumbling

On frozen tongue

 

Is your kiss such a whiplash that I

Long for its searing pain

How I would die a thousand deaths and

Never whimper loud enough into space

For you to hear that I cannot live without

You though I felt as though I already have

Bleed the blood of my tears

Suck the vampire of my astral pools

This voice sings out of wedlock

Spin eternity inside out

And then you shall be dowsed with

Revelation that I was as much

The breath of you as was the alpha

Pulse of dying, screaming,

Planet Earth

 

© Susan Joyner-Stumpf